Twitter Summaries of Moby Dick, as recounted by one called Ishmael, Chapters 37-72

37. I present the dramatics of Captain Ahab, who questions his sanity, believing his madness maddened, and aims to fulfill his prophecy with the White Whale.

38. Drama turns to Starbuck, who agonizes over the true mission of the Pequod, but resolves his bond to Ahab and promises to follow him to his impious end.

39. Stubb seizes the narrative, and sings himself a ditty, displaying his belief in the predestination of the voyage, however ignorant of the outcome.

40. The nature of the crew is shown in Shakespearean light, singing and dancing as though family, until Mother Nature voices her displeasure.

41. The legend of Moby-Dick is described, with his intelligent malignity towards humans, and the epic struggle with one Captain Ahab.

42. I describe my fear of the whiteness of the whale, which exhibits a foreboding nature, and only multiples the terror at sea.

43. An observant sailor hears noises from the ship’s hold, though his companion attributes it to the former’s poor nutrition.

44. Ahab predicts the route of Moby-Dick through his chart, letting loose the mad shrieks of his soul plotting its escape from his damned psyche.

45. I detract the ignorance of the reader who doubts the nature of my tale, and provide true examples of the whaling industry to move away from an intolerable allegory.

46. I reason the plans of Captain Ahab, who must maintain the loyalty of his crew and attack every whale in sight, contrary of its hue.

47. Queequeg and I reunite to weave together a sword-mat, to which I refer as the Loom of Time, before Tashtego’s sighting of a whale removes me from reverie.

48. Fedallah and Ahab’s secret crew emerges from hold, though we do not capture the whale and are nearly drowned.

49. I am overcome with laughter, though I believe myself as a man already dead; I charge Queequeg to me by lawyer, executor, and legatee to my will.

50. I surprise over Ahab’s usage of a personal crew, despite handicap, and the bizarreness of the crew itself, led by the demoniacal Fedallah.

51. We follow the spirit-spout to our conceivable doom, observed closely by Ahab in his cabin, as we men become practical fatalists in our voyage.

52. We pass alongside the Albatross, adrift at sea for four years, and Ahab inquires the captain of the White Whale only to be drowned out by a gale.

53. The definition of a gam is provided, where crews exchange news and companionship, though Ahab refuses gams with boats not pertinent to his quest.

54. I relate a story once told in Lima, where a particularly mutinous crew is relieved by the swallowing of the first-mate by Moby-Dick, though my story is take distrustfully.

55. I relate my reluctance to contemporary images of whale, since none have the whole beast alive, and that the whale must remain unpainted to the last.

56. I discover more acceptable depictions of whales, mainly by that of the French, which is curiously since France has never been considered a nation of whalers.

57. I then note the international intrigue of whales, from carvings, to paintings, to the night sky that guides the sailors at sea.

58. A juxtaposition of land and sea is provided, contrasting the visibility and safety of land from the dangers of the unknown sea, much like the human soul.

59. The sight of a giant squid is confused for the White Whale, and though the presence of squid means that of the whale, the crew finds ominous meaning.

60. I describe the whale-line and its dangers to the crew, rendering me to contemplate the constant whale-line around our crewmen’s necks.

61. We kill our first whale, thanks to the efforts of Stubb and Tashtego, as the crew stands and views the corpse we have made.

62. I argue against the current system of harpooning, where the harpooner is subjected to assist in rowing before focusing a perfect shot in a weary condition.

63. I continue my negative digression into the uselessness of the double-harpoon line, and the risks is promotes to the safety of the crewmen.

64. Stubb insists on dining on a steak of his whale, and when displeased by its overcooked state, plays with the cook in preaching to the hungry sharks.

65. I discuss the rarity of consuming the meat of the whale, which seems iniquitous since one must eat beside the lamp fueling by the whale’s oil.

66. We are forced to rid ourselves of the sharks meaning to take our prize, though Queequeg’s hand nearly meets its on the teeth of a dead creature.

67. We cut into the whale, removing the blubber from the carcass in strips as if peeling the rind away from an orange.

68. I promote the idea of the whale’s blubber acting as its skin, becoming thick as to protect it from harsh environments, despite the ridicule I have received for this opinion.

69. We haul the stripped carcass overboard, which carries the ghost of the whale and continues to terror the seas in its façade as a rocky shoal.

70. The whale is beheaded before release, and Ahab converses with the head, asking of its horrors seen.

71. We encounter the Jeroboam and its prophet Gabriel, who commands us to Think and warns of the horrors of chasing Moby-Dick.

72. I assist Queequeg with the cutting, tied to him with Monkey-Rope in a wedding, as the ginger offered to him is tossed in favor of strong spirits.

Twitter Summaries of Moby Dick, as recounted by one called Ishmael, Chapters 1-36:

1. I, Ishmael, weary of the damp, drizzly November in my soul, looks to escape the confines of New York and sail out for adventure.
2. I arrive in New Bedford but to, alas, miss the ferry to the true whaling capital of Nantucket, so I resign on finding a cheap and ominous-sounding inn to rest.
3. After much hesitation, I take a room at the Spouter-Inn, though I must lay with a dark-skinned cannibal that worships a piece of wood and smokes his tomahawk in bed.
4. I awake with Queequeg’s arm affectionately thrown around me, as if I were his wife, after which I observe his habits of hygiene.
5. I share a silent breakfast with my fellow sailor guests, who are, to my surprise, not enlivened with stories of their seafaring escapades.
6. I observe the unnatural scenery of New Bedford, with its docks and fancily-dressed women, which subsists due to the price whale oil fetches throughout the globe.
7. I stumble into the Whaleman’s Chapel, and discover it ironic how we mourn the dead so incessantly as they reside in the paradise of Heaven.
8. Father Mapple enters the chapel and dramatically climbs a roped ladder onto the pulpit, an act that I cannot help but feel lays deep symbolism within.
9. Father Mapple recalls the story of Jonah and his plight of being swallowed by a great fish, and insists on preaching Truth in the face of Falsehood.
10. I grow affection for my bosom friend, Queequeg; we share a smoke which symbolizes our union, do worship together, and rest as a cozy, loving pair.
11. Queequeg awakes in the night as we share another smoke, while nostalgia overcomes my companion as he recalls the story of his life as a savage.
12. Queequeg recounts his life on Kokovoko, of which he is prince, and the journey that taught him to rebuke Christianity and take on the harpoon in lieu of the scepter.
13. The townsfolk are repulsed by the friendship displayed by Queequeg and I, and Queequeg shows heroics by rescuing an overboard bumpkin that ridiculed him previously.
14. I recite a history of Nantucket and all of its idiosyncrasies, asserting that the island is only the center of its vast empire that is the seas.
15. We settle at the Try-Pots inn, and share a dinner that tastes of the ocean and the fish that surrounds us.
16. I seek out a ship for whaling, and stumble across the Pequod, owned by two Quakers, and negotiate my wages for joining the crew.
17. I return to Queequeg to find him unresponsive in his Ramadan, which causes much distress on the innkeeper, and I explain to him the fallibilities of his beliefs.
18. Queequeg is hired upon the Pequod, though the Quakers are weary of his paganism; Bildad tries conversion, but Peleg warns against pious harpooners.
19. We stumble across a skeptic named Elijah, who warns us against the exploits of Captain Ahab, but we shrug him off on the basis of insanity.
20. The ship is being provisioned for our voyage, and we learn of the improving health of our Captain Ahab.
21. I believe to see men boarding the ship only to find a single sailor aboard, while Elijah tried once more to persuade us with his insanity.
22. The Pequod sets sail on a cold Christmas, as Bildad and Peleg ship out of port before rowing back to shore, with no presence yet known of Ahab.
23. I introduce Bulkington, who steers the ship; I remark how he is a man fated to die at sea, and that such a death will leave him glorified as God.
24. I forcefully defend the business of whaling, retorting any questions and criticisms that may arise by those ignorant to the benefits of the trade.
25. I provide examples of the usefulness of whaling, reminding those Europeans that their very kings rely on the purity of whale oil for their coronations.
26. I introduce the careful and rational first-mate, Starbuck, and reflect upon the democratic dignity of the working man, even in the meanest mariners.
27. I shed light on the other officers, all white Americans, each with their own dark-skinned harpooner, contracting the “brains” and the “muscles”.
28. Ahab appears on deck, donned with a false leg carved from a whale’s jaw, and a white scar upon his face made from some elemental strife at sea.
29. Stubb dares to complain about Ahab’s pacing, his leg sending echoes across the ship, and Ahab calls him dog and advances upon him, sending Stubb into a fright.
30. Ahab longs to smoke, but the act can no longer sooth his nervous whiffs, so he hurls the pipe into the ocean and paces once more.
31. Stubb recalls a dream of being kicked by Ahab’s ivory leg, and a merman’s insistence of the honor of being kicked by a man as great as his captain.
32. I take time to explain cetology, or the science of whales, and revises the current classification of the creature into three books: Folio, Octavo, and Duodecimo.
33. I go on to discuss the workings of the whaling ship, from the role of the specksynder, to the comradery that often supersedes the hierarchy of the vessel.
34. I recall the etiquette of dinner in Ahab’s cabin, such as the order of the officers in their dining times, and avidity shown by the harpooners in terrorizing the cook.
35. I describe my experience on the mast-head searching for whales, daydreaming away, and realizing that romantic, melancholy, and absent-minded young men such as myself make terrible sailors.
36. Ahab explains his mission of hunting down the infamous Moby-Dick, and promises a gold doubloon to the man that is able to raise the whale.

Friday's Journal and Footnoting

I will use this entry for two class assignments, one of which is horribly late, of which I do apologize. Let us begin with a look into the journal of Friday, Robinson Crusoe’s native slave on his island. The entries have been translated into our modern form of the English language.

Yo, Friday here, what up? So I’m just about to be eaten by our rival cannibals when I get this wild idea to escape when they ain’t looking. Crazy, right? Well, I probably wouldn’t have made the getaway if it wasn’t for this crazy cracker that was apparently living in a cave for the past twenty-some years. He killed one with his loud banging tube thinger, and then gave me a shiny stick to cut the other one’s head off. Wicked awesome, I know. I give him my people’s way of saying, “Thanks a lot buddy,” by bowing to his feet, and I think he thought it meant that I was going to serve him for the rest of my life. I hope that ain’t the case.

So this crazy cracker’s been calling me Friday for the past few days, and it’s kinda wigging me out. He’s also making me put on this uncomfortable furry stuff called clothes, which disables my nether-regions from getting any air, you know. Then I said we should eat the jerks that were going to eat me, just for some irony and the fact that I was getting me a mad craving for some human. But the crazy cracker started making barfing noises and I inferred that he’d kill me if I dare indulge in my cravings. What am I, on a diet?

So now the crazy cracker’s trying to teach me about his own Benamuckee, which makes me say, “What am I, back in Sunday School?” All and all, our Benamuckees are a lot alike, but then he starts telling me about this evil Benamuckee that causes all the bad things to happen. I rebuttal, “Why don’t the good Benamuckee kick the evil Benamuckee’s butt?” to which he says that he doesn’t understand everything about his Benamuckee, which sounds like a lazy excuse to me. It doesn’t seem like his good Benamuckee is all that power if an evil Benamuckee is running amuck all over the place. My Benamuckee can just go ahead and eat his evil Benamuckee, but I’m afraid suggesting that will make him spew or something.

Hey so we’re just hanging out one day when those jerk cannibals come back, and I start to get me a craving for some manflesh. They got some prisoners to eat once again, and I see that one of them is my pop. The crazy cracker goes and gets his banging tube thing to start something with the other cannibals, and we kick their butt. One of the prisoners was yet another cracker, though not as crazy as my crazy cracker. As they talk in their cracker language, I can help thinking how crackers must taste. Maybe I’ll stick around with this crazy cracker just to get a nibble of him sometime.

Also demanded of me is to take a work of mine and footnote it so the people of the future can understand it. Here you go:

A Stereotypical Pirate’s Ghazal

On me mighty vessel (1), I sail the Caribbean (2),

And on me wooden starboard (3), I bellow me sound, “Yarrr!” (4)

A hook for me hand, and mahogany (5) for me leg,

Me fine crew agrees that me look is one quite bizarrre!

Me native country, I hate, and me king (6), I oppose,

Me home is the long outstretched sea (7) that extends afarrr!

The wind above directs, and the current (8) below drives,

The only thing I follow be the night sky’s North Starrr! (9)

Royal ships, I plunder; their treasures, I gladly take,

I slay all in me way, after barking, “Au revoirrr!” (10)

With the sword (11), I stab, dodge, and slice with speed and with skill,

When me foes mess with me, they find I’m well above parrr! (12)

With an English (13) admiral (14), I had me a fine duel,

I sliced him good, but on me cheek, he left a fine scarrr!

I’ll take any crewman, even small, skinny, and slow,

All I ask is loyalty, and I’ll share me cigarrr! (15)

Me sailors all love me, and me washmen think me swell,

But I keep a watchful eye; I daren’t be like Caesarrr! (16)

Me best mate, Squawky, always rests on me right shoulder,

His beak (17) and his talons (18), he gladly uses to sparrr!

Rum (19) be me fav’rite treasure; I drink it all day long,

The only land I walk are the floorboards of the barrr!

Above all else, a pirate’s life be the life I choose,

I’d rather sail seas than reign in Russia (20) as the czarrr! (21)

So on me deck, I stare at the great seas that be mine,

And I, Captain Schmidt (22), bellow yet another loud, “Yarrr!”

Footnotes:

1. Vessel: a vehicle that floated and moved across water before Global Warming evaporated enough water to make such a vehicle necessary.
2. Caribbean: as in Caribbean Sea, or what the landmass between the eastern halves of North and South America was called when it was filled with water.
3. Starboard: the right side of a vessel.
4. Yarrr: stereotypical phrase that really only little kids dressed up as pirates for Halloween actually say.
5. Mahogany: type of hardwood used when there were tall perennial plants called trees around.
6. King: a single autocratic ruler of individual nations before the days of Emperor Donald Trump III, blessed be His name.
7. Sea: once referred to large landmasses that were filled with water, now a title dubbed to Emperor Trump III's personal swimming pools, blessed be Their wetness.
8. Current: a gravitational force that once moved the oceans and seas to reduce their potential energy.
9. North Star: name given to the star Polaris until its energy was fully utilized to keep running Emperor Trump III's mighty jacuzzi, blessed be Its massage-inducing water jets.
10. Au revoir: meaning "Goodbye" in the now-dead French language.
11. Sword: a long, edged piece of metal used back in the days where warfare was cool and fun to watch.
12. Par: term used in the formerly played sport of golf, which was outlawed in 2046 for being too boring.
13. English: inhabitants of the former country of England, now called Fishandchipsland.
14. Admiral: a high-ranking officer of a naval force, used when there was a reason to have a naval force.
15. Cigar: now called "cancer stick".
16. Caesar: seemingly a reference to English footballer Gus Caesar, who was voted in a 2007 pool to be the worst player to ever play for Arsenal, until Billy Nolegs took over that spot in 2014.
17. Beak: official name for the pointy thing on a bird's mouth.
18. Talons: official name for the pointy things on a bird's feet.
19. Rum: ha, just kidding, we still know what rum is.
20. Russia: currently known as Boyitsreallyfreakingcoldland.
21. Czar: another term for a single autocratic ruler, but is deemed inferior to Emperor Trump III, blessed be His casinos.
22. Captain Schmidt: a prolific author, historian, athlete, and millionaire who is redeemed by all the ladies and regarded in almost as high in respect to Emperor Trump III, blessed be His totally real-looking hair.

Thoughts on Crusoe and Defoe Imitation

So, I'm finally finished with Robbie Crusoe, and while it certainly wasn't the most...how you say...riveting book in the world, I'm glad I have it under my belt. I hear a lot of people have been complaining about it, and I don't particularly blame them, but I wouldn't necessarily call it the worst book ever, or a worthless piece of crap, or an abomination of all things good and holy in the literary world, etc. I look at it this way: if people are correct in thinking that Robinson Crusoe is the first actual novel ever published, then we should give it credit for spawning all the other novels that followed it. For example, I don't particularly like the earliest form of rock and roll (e.g.: Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Elvis, etc.), but I love the stuff that immediately followed it (e.g.: Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, etc.), so I still honor the early stuff because I know without it, everything after it would not have been the same.

I'm glad we're getting to read Gulliver's Travels now, since it's a total play on what Defoe was doing in Crusoe. I've read Gulliver a few times before, and now I think I'll appreciate it better after reading Crusoe, and vice versa. Gulliver has always fascinated me because 1) it's funny as hell and 2) it's very much a political commentary of life and politics back in the good old days of the eighteenth century, and as a History major, I sort of like that crap for some reason.

Here is my imitation of Defoe's writing style of a paragraph in "Running With Scissors" that was given to us. Enjoy.

The shiny and Luminescent bookshelves within my Possession are saturated with a myriad of Items which are quite privy to mine Interest, up to and including Canisters absent of the labels that were so Wonderfully adorned to their vibrant Cylindricalness of silver, though I cannot hide my Yearning for golden objects of the same Nature; also present are delightfully crafted Rings from my voyage to the New World five years following the glorious occasion of my Birth, which God and Providence has bequeathed me good Tidings...

You get the point.